Mommy Musings

Because I'm your mother, that's why...
Those words echo through our house often.
Those words echoed through my ears growing up often too.
I remember that very first time I said them to my oldest.
She was two. She was in that serious "why" stage- you know the one. Questioning EVERY SINGLE THING we do as parents, from asking them to put on their shoes, to buckling their seat belt, to looking both ways before crossing the street, or simply washing their hands after using the bathroom.
"But why, momma?" She wanted just one more cookie before dinner and didn't quite understand why I kept saying "no".
"Because I'm your mother, that's why."
She did it again tonight. Asking to stay up late and giving me that all too familiar 9 year old groan... "why don't you ever let me stay up late on a school night." Because I'm your mother, that's why.
These three have had me questioning so much about myself, this life, and the world we live in on a daily basis. Is it safe enough? Do I need to hold her hand? Is she big enough? Are they learning enough? Am I doing enough? Are they kind to their peers? Do they use their manners at school too? Do they know how much I love them? And tonight, after reading book after book, despite no voice left from this chest cold I'm battling, tucking them in extra tight, and kisses on every forehead, I still wonder- do they really truly know?
Motherhood is messy. It starts with childbirth, is filled with dirty diapers, snot, tears, baby vomit, mud, dirt, skinned knees, stained t-shirts, tangled hair, smashed Goldfish crackers in car seats, sneezes, firsts, lasts, hellos, goodbyes, and everything in between.
Tonight I got rid of our very first infant convertible car seat, used by all 3 girls and will never be used again, to be replaced with a next-step car seat; and I shed a couple tears. There is truly nothing quite like watching your babies grow up right before your eyes.
I work my tail off day in and day out building an income from home, building myself the ability to stay home with these girls- call me old fashioned- but it is truly where my heart is at this stage in our lives. Among teaching other women the benefits of self-care and a healthier lifestyle, I teach my girls the same. Strength. Determination. Faith. Persistence. Dedication. Ability. Challenging your limits. Listening. Courage. Hard work. Confidence. Self-love.
And when they ask, "Momma, but why?"
I can tell them, it's all for them. Just like every breath I breathe.
Because I'm your mother, that's why.
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