Thursday, July 16, 2015

Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt.  We all have it... It starts when they're teeny tiny, that first week old and thinking "Man, I just want to take a shower without this tiny earthling attached to me around the clock!"  And as soon as I jump in the shower it never fails, the baby cries and the guilt sets in!  Now that they're a little older the guilt is less...guilty... I guess.  But I still get that heartache when I have to leave them for an extended period of time.  I was thinking that last night as I was packing my bags for our 4 day getaway this weekend to Nashville, that this will be the first time that I'm leaving all 3 for more than 24 hours!

Don't get me wrong, this is a much needed getaway- a long weekend with my husband, an opportunity for me to meet many of the women I work with online each day and for me to grow my business by leaps and bounds- but as my middle child so conveniently came downstairs as I was packing, whimpering that she's afraid of the dark and needs to be snuggled and tucked in just one more time, I know that I'll be missing them with all of my heart.  And maybe that was a ploy on her part to really let me know that I can be anywhere in the world but my heart will still be with those three little ladies.

I have come a long way in my Mommy Guilt though.  I remember those early days of preparing for an hour grocery store trip and leaving the baby at home with a list for my husband in case "something happened"... what, like if she pooped in her clothes?  Call in a SWAT team?  What was I thinking! Eventually I went into nursing school full time and then began working full time shortly after.   Leaving those babies to go back to work was not an easy task by any means.  Some days it was easier, and some days they clinged to my scrubs and I cried in the car on my way to work.  I poured over the decision to go back to work and if I was doing the right thing.  My mom stayed home with me, maybe I should be staying home with my kids.  But I loved my job as a Pediatric nurse and the reward was great!

It wasn't until during my third pregnancy when we moved 1/4 of the way across the country that we made the decision that I would stay home, and would go back to school.  Shortly after our third girl was born I knew I wanted more.  I was loving the ability to stay home with my girls but I had a different kind of mommy guilt.  The kind that made me feel guilty for wanting to work but wanting to stay home with my kids at the same time.  I know each and every mommy is different and you have to do what works best for your family.  For me, I knew that if I could be home now, I could work easier when they're older.   But all of that changed when I decided to start working from home as an online health and fitness coach with Beachbody.  I was able to work, bring in an income, and do it all from my home.  I could take my kiddos to school and be there when they're sick.  I'm still pursuing my nursing degree but I love being able to enjoy these kiddos while they're little, and I don't feel guilty about that at all.



If you're interested in exploring the possibility of becoming a work at home mommy, please fill out the application below or email me at fitmommyashley@gmail.com


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